Critique Me!!

[Sbacity_Boy]

(Sorry if this is the wrong place for this.)

So because I am kinda self teaching drawing to myself, this pic is kinda my test. But I don't really want to grade it myself. So I am asking YOU!! It is basically trying to cover shading and proportion. So be truthful and ABSOLUTELY NO LYING!! Depending on what you guys thing of this then I will either be working on this a while longer or, I think, moving on to animal structure and fur shading. Yeah, so be honest and tell me what you thing. Anything, even if it is the tiniest detail. I need to know so I can become better.

Okay, so because it won't load on. It is the first pic on my only album. So please look there and tell me what you think. I have seriously been waiting for half an hour and it has uploaded yet.

Edit by Siam: fixed it for ya. :-)
http://bunnibunni.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=167&pictureid=1390

[screwbaII]

I would save it as a jpg if it isn't already and then try uploading it.

[Clandestine]

I'm assuming this is the one... the one with the chick's body without the head?

Mmm..
Proportion-wise, widen the waist. It should be slightly smaller than the width of her shoulders Also make her thighs longer.
Her leg that's raised shouldn't really be there because the posing would be a bit difficult. If anything, just lower the leg and point the foot away from the body.

The upper arms could be a little longer. The elbow should be right below the breastline. Also, the arms should be thicker. The chickies as some form of muscle, too, you know. xD

Anyway, that's it for the proportions. It's pretty good, really. Just work on it a bit more.

Shading wise... it's hard to tell where the light source is. I suggest that you add more shading to the shorts to give it more depth. Add some around the crotch area and some on the side away from the light.
Add more shading...
- Shorts
- collarbone
- thighs. (make it darker)
- legs
- stomach.

Your shading is pretty good so far. You just need to make sure that depth and lighting source is visible on every part.

There's a reference that i like to use proportion-wise.

http://th02.deviantart.net/fs45/PRE/f/2009/064/e/2/The_Shape_and_Form_18_02_09_by_WarrenLouw.jpg


You're at a good start. Just be more attentive about the female proportions and the lighting and now it affecting the shadowing, and you'll improve fosho.

[SiamJai]

Hmm, critique you? Okay:

"From my experience, Sbacity_Boy is a good fella: helpful, communicative and full of ideas. He's also full of questions, but that's not a bad thing. :) He has a good sense of humor, great writing skills and proper use of English grammar, which altogether make his posts and diary entries fun to read. Overall, Sbacity_Boy is a valuable member of the Bunni community."

... oh, you mean, a critique on your drawing... can do too! :-)



The female figure, such a lovely, curvaceous and mysterious subject! I think you drew the proportions good, that's how I drew them at your age too. ;) But as you get more personal experience, you'll recognize some things to make it even better... let's see, from top to bottom:

1. Shoulders of most girls are much less broad and are pointing at a more downward angle. You can safely reduce them to about half their current size and start with the upper arm earlier.

2. Breasts: unless she's purposely cursed with those sagging watermelon-sized jugs, she'd look more realistic with somewhat smaller, more tight ones.

3. Torso: the length is about right, but the placement is way too low, due to the large and long breasts. With smaller ones, you can start the torso earlier.

4. Hips: the proportions seem right, but they need to widen at a steeper angle. I see you've tried a bit wider earlier but erased it. I think the erased one is more anatomically correct in the beginning, actually. ;-) Try to connect the erased beginning with the current bottom half.

5. Thighs: the outer lines are good, but you need to separate the inner thighs as soon as the lines leave the crotch area. Make them curve slightly away in the beginning and more as they reach the knee, where the thighs will be the narrowest.

The position of the lifted foot seems a bit unnatural, like it's all in one flat plane. Try to give it some depth by drawing the foot at an angle, perhaps even hiding some lines behind the thighs.

Shading: the gradients are good, and you could check out some pictures about how light falls on the body for real (will be easy, since it's a common position).

Good work overall, especially considering how difficult it is go get everything right. Keep at it and it's gonna be great! :-)

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Edit: I'd like to see what the girls say! So far it's all just guys yapping about what they think they know, but I'm sure you gals know it better! :)

[screwbaII]

Yay siam fixed it so I don't have to be lazy and ignore this now.

Well everyone is so much better at drawing people than me, but I think one thing that wasn't mentioned is the bottom of her legs look way too skinny compared to her thighs. I think you should make the calf more defined (i.e. make it a little more curved and fatter). The ankle is a good size imo. Also I think the toes would look better pointed inward rather than outward if you are going for the whole kick up feel.

The shape of the breasts going up under the arms should be going inward than upward, and as siamjai suggested they should be smaller and less broad to be in proportion with the rest of the body. Also as clands also said the arms need some muscle tone.

As for shading it needs A LOT of work XD Shading and toning is quite difficult to do, you need to really learn from observing how light from different angles falls onto objects. As well as shadowing you need to put in highlights, like where the light hits the object at the brightest.

Also you may need to keep in mind the pencil stroke has a large effect on the depth of the picture. More curved strokes will make the picture look less flat and and give it more depth. You should also keep in mind that the texture of the clothes will differ from the texture of skin, as well as the darkness of the shading (clothes will be darker or lighter compared to the skin depending on the colour). I think the stroke on the shorts give it a pretty good denim-look, but it's just that everything else is pretty much textured the same way just with straight pencil strokes. With the human body you need to follow the curves, and with fabric and materials you really need to add in places where fabric is stretched or loose so to speak, so it doesn't look like the person is dressed in a cardboard cutout. Try shorter, softer and more curved strokes for the body, and make the skin lighter than the clothes for the most part (unless you're drawing a dark-skinned person of course :p)

This is a lot coming from me considering I'm terrible at drawing people. I know the concepts behind drawing people, I just can't do it myself. Well, probably if I practiced enough but anyway, shading is the same on whatever you draw. Hope this helps.

[Sbacity_Boy]

((Lol! Thanks Siam!!))

Clandestine, Siam, and Screw. Thanks for correcting and showing me where I messed up. It has all been taken into account!xD

Clands and Siam. Thanks SO much for the body correction and the finer details of proportions. And yes, I did do A LOT of erasing on this one.:) So thanks for your input and I will do some MORE erasing and see if I can correct my mistakes. :)

Screw, I want to especially thank you for the shading tips. I never really thought about curved lines or anything like that. I will test them all out and see the difference.

Over all, THANKS!!! I will keep it up and see if I can correct these things. Thanks again!!

[elpuntthing]

Yeah, I'm rubbish at art when it comes to proportion and shading, but I have to say that her leg doesn't look right. I also think it's very dark. Otherwise, OK!

[Sbacity_Boy]

Thanks Elpunt!! I also thought it looked a little dark. But then again, it didn't. I had hard time making decision with this drawing. I would draw something, hate it and erase it. xD It was a long and tedious process.

[DapottSci]

What is supposed to be in the background, the forest? The perspective for the forest is not right unless she is standing on a very steep hill. Also her right arm looks a tad bit too thin and her right foot is at an unnatural stance. Im not good at giving critique, hope that helps
.

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